the past can never harm me as long as i keep it in the past. ok. today's like seriously emo for me. during training i sucked. like totally sucked. after that i couldnt even run at all. like i had to get some extra recovery time before completeing the set. like what the hell has happened to me? this is not supposed to happen at all. why now? why me? my studies are goin down the drain and flushed into the sea. have not been studying a single thing at all. like i only havve the weekends after the camp to study. this is really not going to work out.
hmm. i meant to post this a long time ago, so here goes. my class totally rocks. just like cos im not one of the 'intellectual' few doesnt mean i do have brains, have a freaking iq of single digit, am stupid, no brains etc. like who the hell are you to say that? what freaking shit have i ever done to you? just cos i dont hand in homework sometimes doesnt mean im like a dumb ass or something. i have a sports cca for crying out loud. all you idiots have are what, mrc, smc, strat games etc. all you have to do is go for your once a week meetings where you sit around doing shit. you have like no fatigue etc. what freaking tiredness do you get from sitting around discussing stupid things that make you appear busy? when you people get back home, you are still awake and alert and can do your work. for us sports people, after trainings most of us are like totally tired-out. our eyes are like hardly open and we drag our feets when we walk. so what freaking right do you have to criticise us for being slackers. like at least we have a life. we exercise instead of people like you all who sit on your stupid asses and think about stupid things that make our ever so interesting life even more 'interesting'. like ok my ideas are not along the common lines, but that doesnt mean im wrong. can you freaking listen to what i have to say before condemning me and totally shut my idea off. like ehat the hell are you implying? im stupid? i am no good at all? heck if you are so good, why dont you score a freaking A for your paper? a bunch of jokers who freaking make my day bad. pissing me and others off and irritating and condemning others. a bunch of stupid nerds who sit around studying all day that have no life at all. its like they're on a different frequency altogether. i doubt its a matter of higher or lowere. its a different realm. they exist in their nerdified realm mingling with all the same kind happily chewing books for meals and building castles of books. for heavens sake there's something called the world and people who live in it. if you're just going to stick with your own kind then fine, so be it, but the next time you freaking people are going to piss me off, it would be 'i'll use my frustrations in training', it'll come right back at your faces. my team-mates are nice, and i dont want to take my frustrations out on them. how i freaking wished we could have a class just filled with the team. then i wouldnt have these kind of problems because they are not as fucked up as my 'wonderful' class.
