Life is such a mystery and ironically predictable.
I knew i would end up in such a place, and was warned and advised, yet i still held on to the hope that things may be different. There may at least be some form of hope. But after everything, I'm stuck in this mess i stepped into. Its like a stain, that once you stepped on, no matter how much you try to clean it away, it will never truly be gone. Its irritable, and pisses me off.
Why? Why? Why? Why this posting, why this job, why stay-in? Can't i just serve my time peacefully and leave? Why create so much transitions for me? This is one truly screwed up organization.
I tried. I tried to tell you today that i know and realize that you change because there was still hope, that everything could be worked out, that you still bothered, no matter how little. That i appreciate and thank you for it. That you bothered to change, though how we stumble each time, you still bothered to change. I don't know why we quarrel so much, i want that to end. I want to love and be everything you ever dream of. But, everything you keep inside, feelings and thoughts you refused to share. Till one day we exploded. We took turns. I want it to stop, i want to be able to tell you things, without any of us being upset, affected by it. To be a real couple and say things that pop into our minds, to be the best of friends as well, like how we are with our closest buddies, where speaking our mind and shooting out thoughts and random stuff are first nature.
But...
Nothing goes as planned.
That was what i wanted to make clear, that i appreciate you, and will change,
together, to be what we dream of.
